In other posts on this topic we’ve looked at how to change from
the state of creating to the state of critiquing, how to look at the big
picture, and how to improve dialogue.
This time I want to offer a few tips
for doing something you’ve heard before, namely “show, don’t tell.” To some extent, this overlaps with
improving dialogue, because sometimes you can describe an action that
eliminates the need for some dialogue.
Here are some elements to look for:
- A character’s emotional state. Rather than telling us that
Bill is angry, describe his body language or let his dialogue reflect (but not
spell out) his mood.
- A character’s actions. Instead of using adverbs like “cheerfully,”
“forcefully,” or “eagerly,” describe actions that are inherently forceful or
eager or cheerful. A simile or a metaphor often is more powerful than a
descriptive word by itself.
- The mood of a place. If the setting is scary or depressing
or old-fashioned, describe what makes it so.
The goal of showing instead of telling is that when you do
it well, the reader or viewer feels much more involved. They are the ones who
put the clues together and realize that the setting is scary or that the
character is angry.
More rewriting tips coming up soon.
(For equally useful tips on how to write your novel, script,
non-fiction book, articles or other projects, get my book, “Your Writing Coach,”
published by Nicholas Brealey and available on Amazon and other online and
offline retailers. Also see my site, www.jurgenwolff.com
for news about my new 60-day Writing Breakthrough coaching program.]
