This is the last (for now) in a series of portraits of people who sometimes dominate writing groups. Come on in and meet...
This writer hasn’t quite mastered numbering pages in order or actually bringing all of them to the meeting, so the reading will include phrases like, “Oh wait---that part comes before the bit I just read,” “Just a second, I can’t read my writing,” and “Oh no, this is from my other book.” It can be entertaining if you consider it as performance art.
THE JEKYLL AND HYDE
This writer is the most pleasant person you can imagine. He’s happy to share stories with you about how unfair agents and publishers are to writers like you and him, who surely deserve to get published. No, put that money away, he’s getting the drinks…until you get something published. Then he’ll turn on you in an instant. If he still buys you a drink it’ll be only because he’s slipped a little cyanide in it.
THE KNOWS BETTER
This writer will listen very carefully when you read. It’s kind of gratifying the way he concentrates…until it’s time for feedback. Then he’ll give you a comprehensive account of how he’d make your story better. Nothing too drastic, just change the protagonist, the setting, the historical period, the style, the punctuation, the beginning, the ending, and the middle. Other than that, it’s fine.
(If you'd care to nominate any others, please leave a descirption in the comments and I'll add them to a future post.)