Years ago, Kurt Vonnegut wrote an article sponsored by the International Paper Company, on how to write with style. He intended it mainly for writers of non-fiction, but the tips apply equally to novelists or short story writers. I'm featuring one per day; this is number four.
4: Have the guts to cut
It may be that you, too, are capable of making necklaces for Cleopatra. so to speak. [This refers to a metaphor in tip number three.] But your eloquence should be the servant of the ideas in your head. Your rule might be this: If a sentence, no matter how excellent, does not illuminate your subject in some new or useful way, scratch it out.
This is another version of "murder your darlings." If a sentence, paragraph, scene or chapter doesn't harmonize with the rest of the work, you have a choice: cut it out (or rewrite it), or keep it and rewrite everything else.