I had to share with you a great example of how NOT to write when you're trying to communicate. In the Travel section of the (London) Sunday Times, a reader wrote in to complain about the service on a Swiss flight. The flight attendants handed out candy bars and bread rolls to passengers and gave them to the reader's 3-year-old child because his seat had been paid for, but refused to give them to her 19-month-old son, who was traveling on her lap.
The paper passed along the complaint to Swiss and here is the airline's answer: "The complete satisfaction of our highly valued customers is our utmost goal."
So far, a bit cliched, but OK. I feel a groveling apology coming on, right? Wrong.
It goes on: "We have forwarded your reader's comment to the responsible department. We cannot promise immediate improvement, however, since changes in common processes sometimes require detailed planning."
Huh? In plain English, "We will continue to make small children cry until we have had many meetings, so don't expect anything to change anytime soon."
If I had stock in Swiss, I'd sell it now. If I ran the place, I'd fire the person who wrote this answer and hire somebody who knows how to write in plain English. Then I'd fire the PR department. Then I'd fire myself.
