Scriptwriter and book author Lee Goldberg has an entertaining blog called "A Writer's Life." In one of his posts, he recounts some of the more amusing (and sometimes maddening) encounters he's had with people he's met at conferences and workshops. Here's a little taste (there are a few more on his post):
Another person came up to me and asked me if I wrote for television. I said yes. She then asked, "How do you do that?"
"You mean, how do I write for television?"
"Yes," she said.
"I write screenplays," I said.
"Which is what, exactly?"
"The story, the action, the words that the characters say," I replied.
She stared at me. "Somebody writes that?"
"Yes," I said, resisting the urge to strangle her. "It's like a
writing a play, only for the camera instead of a theatre audience."
She shook her head. "No, it's not."
* * * * * *
"I've written a book but everyone tells me it's a TV series," the man said. "How do I make it into a TV series."
"You can't, " I said, and gave my standard speech about how ideas
are cheap and execution is everything, how networks go to people with
TV experience, or who have written hit movies, or who have written
bestselling novels, blah blah blah. And when I got done, he stared at
me. I got stared at a lot today.
He said: "How can I get around that?"
"You can't," I said.
"Why not?"
"Because you haven't established yourself as a writer in any
field," I said. "Why would a network, studio or producer buy a TV
series idea from you?"
"Because I'm smarter and more talented than they are," he said.
"It's not going to happen," I said.
"Is it because I'm black?" he said. "That's it, isn't it. It's because I'm black."
* * * * * *
"Did you have to sleep with a lot of people to get into TV?" a woman asked me.
"Just my wife," I said.
"You were lucky it wasn't someone else," she said and walked away.
**********
One of my own stories is from a talk I gave at a scriptwriters' conference in Boulder. I'd spent about an hour going into characters, structure, conflict, etc. and then it was time for questions. One man stood up and said, "Bottom line: how much money can I make writing scripts? Because I'm making good money selling real estate, and unless I can make more money writing scripts, I don't want to bother."
I told him not to bother.
