Here's some good news: You don't HAVE to do anything!

OK, we’ll leave aside breathing, eating and a few other functions, but here’s a liberating fact: as an adult, you don’t HAVE to do anything!

 I am a fan of the philosophy of the late Albert Ellis, who came up with Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. One of the foundations of that approach is getting rid of the “shoulds” in your life.

 Let’s look at some common examples:

“ I should lose some weight.” No, you CAN lose some weight. If the benefits of losing weight are important to you, then that will be the right choice for you.

 “I really should clean up my office.” Again, you CAN clean up your office. And if you frequently are frustrated by not being able to find files or supplies, or you regularly stub your toe on the boxes piled up everywhere then that choice will be rewarding.

 Of course this applies to “should nots” as well. “I shouldn’t spend so much time watching TV.” Are there other things you’d enjoy more or that would benefit you more? Then you can choose to do them.

 The key question when you find yourself facing a “should” or “shouldn’t” is “Who says?” If it’s a genuine desire on your part, go ahead and choose that course. If it’s somebody else’s idea of what’s right for you, just get in touch with your inner brat and say (if only in your mind) “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

 If you stop doing the things that don’t really matter to you, suddenly you’ll find you have a lot more time to spend on things like writing. Not that I’m saying you should.

 (for more tips and techniques on how to be more creative and productive—if you want to—sign up for my free monthly Brainstorm e-bulletin. Just send an email request to [email protected])