For an education in how NOT to write historical dialogue, watch the very bloody "Spartacus."
It's full of lines like, "He speaks out of turn but the truth falls from his lips."
One tip: don't write lines that call up a comical image.
I have no idea whether people said that kind of thing around the time that Spartacus was alive (c. 109-71 BC, according to Wikipedia), but they sure shouldn't talk like that now.
Of course you don't want them to sound like they've just stepped out of Los angeles, either, and that's where we writers face a dilemma. How different to make historical characters sound? A lot of times regardless of the period, historical dialogue sounds like a poor imitation of Shakespeare.
It's hard to give rules, much easier to study writers who have done it successfully. One example is the Robert Fagles translation of "The Odyssey." To my mind, he gets it right. Here's a little excerpt chosen at random. It's Odysseus relating the reception he got at the court of King Aeolus:
"So I pleaded--gentle, humble appeals--but our hosts turned silent, hushed...and the father broke forth with an ultimatum: 'Away from my island--fast--most cursed man alive! It's a crime to host a man or speed him on his way when the blessed deathless gods despise him so. Crawling back like this--it proves the immortals hate you! Out--get out!"
It doth sound most pleasing to the ear, and that's the truth that just fell from my lips.
(Truth also falls from the pages of my book, "Your Writing Coach," published by Nicholas Brealey Publishing and available from Amazon and other online and offline retailers.You can find out more about it at www.yourwritingcoach.com)
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