Time to Write

Overwhelmed with writing (or life's demands?) Good news...

It's easy to feel oerwhelmed when you are trying to write a book or pursue some other demanding creative project. It's important to take a break once in a while, which is what I'm doing, and that's why I've brought back a few of my favorites from my Brainstorm and Focus ebulletin.

The first is the terrific news that all those things you have to do...you don't!

OK we’ll leave aside breathing, eating and a few other functions, but here’s a liberating thing: as an adult, you don’t HAVE to do anything!

I am a fan of the philosophy of the late Albert Ellis, who came up with Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. One of the foundations of that approach is getting rid of the “shoulds” in your life. Let’s look at some common examples:

“ I should lose some weight.” No, you CAN lose some weight. If the benefits of losing weight are important to you, then that will be the right choice for you.

“I really should clean up my office.” Again, you CAN clean up your office. And if you frequently are frustrated by not being able to find files or supplies, or you regularly stub your toe on the boxes piled up everywhere then that choice will be rewarding.

Of course this applies to “should nots” as well. “I shouldn’t spend so much time watching TV.” Are there other things you’d enjoy more or that would benefit you more? Then you can choose to do them.

The key question when you find yourself facing a “should” or “shouldn’t” is “Who says?” If it’s a genuine desire on your part, go ahead and choose that course. If it’s somebody else’s idea of what’s right for you, get in touch with your inner brat and say (if only in your mind) “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

ACTION: Are you being held prisoner by any shoulds or shouldn’ts? Is it time to liberate yourself?

(If you don't receive my free monthly tips on how to be more creative and productive, sign up at the right. You really should! No, wait..)

 

 

The key to happiness for writers (tips from Epictetus)

Writers often think that getting published will make them happy. In her new book, “The Myth of Happiness,” Sonja Lyubomirsky, warns against putting too much emphasis on the “happy when” idea. It’s not that the things we think will make us happy don't—often they do—but the new happiness wears off quickly. Soon we get used to the new situation or the new possession and yearn for the next thing. Having goals is not a bad thing, but making yourself unhappy until you reach them is.

I can verify that this applies to writing. Here is the screenwriter’s typical progression:

I’ll be happy when…

1. Somebody buys my script, even if they don’t produce it.
2. Somebody buys and my script and produces it, even if they change everything.
3. Somebody buys my script and doesn't change anything, even if it's not a success at the box office.
4. Somebody buys my script, doesn't change anything, and it's a hit at the box office.
5. I get nominated for an Academy Award, even if I don't win.
6. I win an Academy Award.

The key to being happy seems to be enjoying whatever you’re doing. If you let your happiness depend on a particular outcome, you’re a hostage to fortune.

EPICTETUS HAD A BETTER IDEA

This is one of many aspects of life that the Stoic philosopher Epictetus thought about. I was turned off to philosophy at college by Plato’s account of Socrates’ dialogues; his supposed students always asked the questions that would conveniently lead to Socrates being able to prove his point, rather than the questions anybody really would ask.

Initially I didn’t pay any attention to the Stoics because I thought their key idea was that you should suffer without complaining. It turns out this is only half their point.

I think their idea is non-attachment and moderation. If things are going well, enjoy it, but don’t expect it to last; if things are going badly, that won’t last, either (at the very worst, it’ll end when you die).

I've bene helped through some hard times by the sayings of Epictetus. Here are a few: 

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”

“No greater thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.”

“If you wish to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”

“When a man prides himself on being able to understand and interpret a difficult book, say to yourself: If the book had been well written this man would have nothing on which to pride himself.”

“If you wish to be a writer, write.”

One of the collections of his sayings is “The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness.”

MARCUS AURELIUS

Another Stoic worth your time is Marcus Aurelius, and his book “Meditations.” Here’s one quote of his that should resonate with writers: “Begin—to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished.”

(Buying my book, "Your Creative Writing Masterclass," will (probably) make you happy for a while. If you want the happiness to last a bit longer, read it more slowly. If you want the happiness to last a long time, apply the writing advice you'll find in the book. It comes from Dickens, Jane Austen, Joseph Conrad, and modern masters like Hemingway and Fitzgerald.)

How to "show, not tell" an emotion when writing a novel or script

Just about every book on how to write a novel or screenplay advises, “show, don’t tell” what emotion your character is experiencing.

One way to figure out how to do that is to identify the thing you want to show, and then ask  “what do we see or hear?” in that situation. The trick is not to stick with your first answers, which tend to be predictable and clichéd.

For instance, when someone is angry our first thought might be to describe their face turning red, their fists clenching, their throat tightening, or a vein in their forehead throbbing.

To go beyond these rather predictable choices, think about how anger is reflected in the behaviour of three or four people you know. These could be grandparents, parents, siblings, spouses or partners, friends, bosses or co-workers.

My father’s pattern was to have a short outburst of shouting and then retreating to his workshop. My mother seldom raised her voice, she turned her anger into a display of disappointment and hurt . One friend goes ballastic, shouting the meanest things that come to his mind--and an hour later has forgotten the whole thing. Another friend shows what I’d call “cold anger”—not much change in his expression, but his voice turns quieter and steely.

When you’ve generated a list of responses you’ve encountered, match one of them with your character or use them as a springboard to come up with a different reaction.  Of course this works just as well for any other emotion you want to show.

Using non-stereotypical expressions of emotion on the part of your character will help them to come alive on the page—and that’s always a good thing!

(How did the great writers like Dickens, Austen, Conrad and modern masters like Heminway and Fitzgerald create vivid characters? What advice did they have for writers? You'll find the answers in "Your Creative Writing Masterclass," published by Nicholas Brealey and available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller.)

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Are you on track for your writing or other goal? (Reminder 1 of 12)

Many writers make resolutions or set goals for themselves at the start of the year. Very few are still working on them even one month later.

Often it’s not that they have consciously decided to stop; usually they just sort of forget about the goals because too many other urgent things come up.

That’s why I decided to remind you to remember your goals at the start of every month (which is also a good way of reminding myself of mine, of course). I hope it’ll help both of us stay on track so that at the start of the next year we’re not back to square one.

This post appears on February 1, one month after most people set their resolutions or goals for the year. Of course you may be reading it on some other date. That’s fine—it’s always a good time to check whether you’re moving toward your goals and to take corrective action if you’re not.

If you haven’t set any goals for your writing (for instance, writing a novel, getting an agent, or self-publishing your book) or other parts of your life, you might find it useful to take a look at the posts below in order; even if you have worked through them already, it’s useful to go back to them for a quick review.

 Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed, the time for action is now!

Take one look back, then it’ll be time to move forward 

Design your writing (and other) goals with zero-based planning

How to think big about your writing and the other parts of your life

Why “unrealistic” writing and other goals are easier to achieve

The seven steps to reaching your goals

 

If you did set goals for yourself, take a few minutes to answer these questions now:

• In the past month, have you been moving toward your most important goals?
   
• If not, what has stopped you or slowed you down? You might find it useful to take a look at this trouble-shooting guide.
   
• What can you do to get yourself back on track? Don't just do the same things that didn't work last time. Come up with alternatives and keep going until you find what works for you. (If you have trouble brainstorming ideas, see my book, ‘Creativity Now,” published by Pearson and available from Amazon).
   
• What’s the first step you can take today or tomorrow? Commit to it now.

As soon as you have taken the first step select the next step and keep going until you’re making progress.

Once in a while you may find that a goal you thought was important doesn’t turn out to be as meaningful after all. If you’re sure the goal isn’t going to give you what you thought it would, let it go and set a different one. However, the road to every goal is full of challenges, so don’t give up one goal just because you think maybe another one might be easier to accomplish.

If you subscribe to this blog today, in 30 days I’ll be reminding you again. If you have any questions, let me know at jurgenwolff (at) gmail.com. You may also find it useful to read my book, “Focus: use the power of targeted thinking to get more done,” published by Pearson and available from Amazon or your other favorite book seller.

Good luck and don't forget to enjoy the journey!

 

 

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