In the last post I featured a quote that makes the point that we all make excuses.
My favorite response when somebody says “I can’t” is “OK, but how would you do it if you could?”
Example: “I’d like to learn another language, but I can’t.” (Followed by lots of reasons—no time, not good at languages, etc.).
“OK, but how what would you do if you could?”
“No, no, I can’t.”
“OK, but what would you do if you could?”
Usually this evokes repeated denials and requires repeating the same question. Eventually the answer is something like this:
“Well, I guess I’d get a language app for my phone and learn a word a day while I’m on the train.”
Bingo! The first step. The hardest step.
However, excuses have a way of coming back. Sometime down the line you might hear, "I''ve learned quite a few words and I'd like to figure out how to put them together into useful sentences, but I can't (no time, etc.)"
That's your cue: "OK, but what would you do if you could?"
By the way, use this tool only with people who really want to overcome their excuses. There are people who use excuses to cover the fact that they don't really want to do the thing being discussed. In those cases, save your breath.
If you’ve been making excuses that you'd like to overcome, you can pay for me to come to your place and ask you that question over and over until you give in and come up with a good way to start to vanquish the excuse. However, that would be expensive (I’d charge you for first class travel).
The alternative is to get a friend or family member to do that for you. If you have kids, they'll love being your inquisitor. Or you can do it for yourself.
I can hear you say, “Interesting, but this wouldn’t work for my problem.”
OK, but what would be the answer if it could?
(You'll find many additional innovative ways to manage your time and yourself, in my book Focus: Use the power of targeted thinking to get more done." It's published by Pearson and you can get it from Amazon or your other favorite book seller.)
