Alexa Chung, who Wikipedia tells me is an English TV presenter, model and contributing editor of British Vogue, has written a book. So far, so what?--which TV presenter or model hasn't dashed off a novel or an autobiography or two in between strolls down the catwalk or interviewing the latest nonentity to be booted off Big Brother? But Ms Chung harbours a dark secret. Before I reveal it, let's get to know her a bit better.
WHY SHE WRITES
She revealed, "I wrote it because I was bored and wanted to create something alongside hosting television shows."
EVEN YOU AND I WILL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE BOOK
She told Vogue that her book "isn't complicated or dense, it's almost a stream of consciousness about several topics."
The Daily Mail reveals that she provides witty advice on how to party at music festivals, get dressed for the gym, and what music to listen to after a break-up. I must confess that even just having browsed this book has helped me enormously--I've stopped wearing my tuxedo to the gym.
RAVE REVIEW!
Fellow model Rosie Huntington-Whitely Instagrammed a photo of herself in bed with the book, and wrote, "Spent the morning devouring every last page and learning to be as cool as Alexa Chung."
HER ASTONISHING MODESTY
Ms Chung rivals Leonardo da Vinci in her range of accomplishments yet she is amazingly modest. She said, "It's so lovely that people think I'm a hair icon, but they must be mad!"
She reveals, "When I go through immigration in America, I just say I'm a model--it seems easier than running them through the list."
I, for one, would find it hard not to blurt out to the immigration officer that I was a hair icon and gym clothing coach to the masses.
HER SECRET SHAME
But amidst all this glamour, she let slip one fact about the book that suggests her life is not quite as rosy as it may look from the outside: "I composed it all in emails to my editor because I don't have Microsoft Word."
WE MUST ALL HELP!
I'm heading up a charity effort to collect enough to buy Ms Chung a used copy of Microsoft Word.
Tomorrow you may be approached on the street by charity collectors wearing bright vests and high heels asking you to make a small sacrifice--perhaps missing a meal or two, or raiding your chldren's piggy bank--to help out this poor celebrity so her next stream of consciousness effort can be delivered with less stress.
I don't know whether Ms Chung will thank you, but i'm pretty sure her editor will.
--Jurgen Wolff, Director, the Alexa Chung Charity Appeal
