One of a series of quotes for writers and others that you might find helpful in thinking ahead to the New Year: "Top performers do not generate fame and fortune--or fervent happiness, for that matter--by following the conventional wisdom or struggling to be 'normal'." - John Eliot
If you show your unconventional nature by wearing a beret or having a few tattoos, that's accepted and in some quarters even admired. Try going much farther afield and it won't be long before you'll see why this is a road not travelled by many. We have been brought up to care what others think and to behave in a way that won't call too much attention to ourselves.
The late Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, used to get people to go into public and do embarrassing things like asking strangers for a pickle, to demonstrate that being embarrassed isn't the end of the world. If other people think you're an idiot, so what?
I heard Ellis, who passed away in 2007, give a talk once and I think his ideas make a great deal of sense. The core of REBT is that it's not what happens but our beliefs about it that are the greatest source of unhappiness.
It has a lot in common with Stoicism, which unfortunately is misrepresented as suffering in silence. In fact, it's more about not getting attached to possessions, relationships and outcomes. I highly recommend reading the sayings of Epictetus for a fuller view of Stoicism.
REBT also recognizes that people are not always rational and we have to deal with the world is it is not as we would like it to be. "He shouldn't do that!" someone says, and spends a lot of energy on resenting whatever the other person does or doesn't do.
REBT says obviously in that person's worldview his behaviour IS acceptable; if you can't accept it, and he's not willing to change, move on.
Easier said than done, but well worth the effort!
