Time to Write

Why you shouldn't write like (fill in name)

99U had a post today critical of the many articles that are headlined something like "How to Innovate the Steve Jobs Way" or "How to Think Like Warren Buffet."

It brought to mind how often writers see similar articles: "How to write like J. K. Rowling" (or another classic or currently popular writer). 

Sometimes they focus on the particular and quirky habits of the writer in question--that they can only write between the hours of six and nine in the morning, or only in hotel rooms, or that they drink only green tea while writing.

I do think we can learn from successful writers; that's why I wrote a book called Your Creative Writing Masterclass, in which I gathered the writing advice of more than 100 successful authors, classic and current.

However, using any one writer as your model is rather silly because the things that shape a writer include many that nobody else will ever duplicate. Certainly, go ahead and learn from Chekhov's lean but vivid descriptive style. But unless you can figure out a way to be born in 1860 in Russia, have a physically abusive father, become a doctor and match the thousand other events that shaped the man and his writing, you'll never master "How to Write Like Chekhov."

The most important thing we bring to what we write is our own perspective. My gripe with a lot of recent mainstream films is that whatever personality might have been reflected in the screenplay was eliminated by the time the movie reached the screen.

Fortunately, there are still independent films and off-network TV series that value that personality. One example is a series I missed when it was first on, but am currently enjoying, True Detective, written by Nic Pizzolatto. I can detect the influence of a number of crime writers in that series, but the result is Pizzolatto's.

First and foremost, write like yourself. 

 

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Writing description: it's all in the details

Do you have defining moments like this in your script or novel?

Sunday Stories: "Feet" (Why not write one, too?)

This is a little experiment in flash fiction, using photos by a very talented photographer, Ryan McGuire, who generously lets people use his images without charge - you can find them at Gratisgraphy. The idea is to craft a story in 100 words or less. If you'd like to have a go, write a story to go with this picture, 100 words maximum, and put it in the comments section.

 

FEET

 

"Was it because of my feet? They've always been big. Or my legs? I used to shave them more often but after you're together so long...

I used to get pedicures, too, but when we had the kids we needed that money.

I wonder what her feet look like? Younger, that's for sure. Smaller. Dainty.

Wait twenty years, you little bitch, and then look down at your feet." 

          Words: Jurgen Wolff / Image: Ryan McGuire

How artist Edward Hopper "wrote" his most famous painting

A fascinating article by Robin Cembulest at ArtNews.com reveals how Edward Hopper created his most famous painting, "Nighthawks"--the one that shows the interior of a diner as seen through its large window, revealing a couple, a man by himself, and a server. 

A show of Hopper's drawings at the Whitney includes 19 studies for the painting, including sketches of the people and even the tableware that featured in the iconic picture.

It's interesting how much this resembles what writers do when creating a novel or screenplay. The studies show that Hopper considered having the scene revealed from inside the diner until moving the point of view to the outside. He sketched men sitting at a diner, and ultimately used himself and his wife as the models for the couple. 

The result was a painting that looks like a still from a movie and invites you to imagine the personal stories of the people in it.

One way writers can apply this is to think of a still image that conveys the emotion of the story they want to tell. What would be the setting, which characters would be in it, what would they be doing?

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Famous "Nighthawks" Painting Has Been Recreated IRL

This is why (some) publishers deserve to go out of business

In 2012, authors sued the largest publisher of romance novels, Harlequin. Here's a summary of the situation, as described at www.harlegquinlawsuit.com:

THE LEGAL ISSUES

"A class action lawsuit was filed today against Harlequin Enterprises, Ltd., the world’s leading publisher of romance fiction, as well as Harlequin Books S.A., a Swiss corporation, and Harlequin Enterprises B.V., a Dutch corporation, on behalf of authors who entered into contracts with the company.

This lawsuit results from Defendant Harlequin Enterprises Limited, the world’s leading publisher of romance fiction, depriving Plaintiffs and the other authors in the class, of e-book royalties due to them under publishing agreements entered into between 1990 and 2004.

Harlequin required the authors to enter into those agreements with a Swiss entity that it created for tax purposes, and that it dominates and controls. However, Harlequin, before and after the signing of these agreements, performed all the publishing functions related to the agreements, including exercising, selling, licensing, or sublicensing the e-book rights granted by the authors. Instead of paying the authors a royalty of 50% of its net receipts as required by the agreements, an intercompany license was created by Harlequin with its Swiss entity resulting in authors receiving 3% to 4% of the e-books’ cover price as their 50% share instead of 50% of Harlequin Enterprises’ receipts.

Instead of paying the authors a royalty of 50% of its net receipts as required by the agreements, an intercompany license was created by Harlequin with its Swiss entity resulting in authors receiving 3% to 4% of the e-books’ cover price as their 50% share instead of 50% of Harlequin Enterprises’ receipts.

What this means to the authors can be illustrated by an e-book with a hypothetical cover price of $8.00. The “net receipts” made by Harlequin Enterprises Limited from the exercise, sale or license of e-book rights would be at least $4.00, of which authors would be entitled to $2.00 based on their 50% royalty. Computing the “net receipts” based on the “license” between Harlequin’s Swiss entity and Harlequin Enterprises, Plaintiffs’ 50% royalty amounts to only 24 to 32 cents."

In April, 2013, the court dismissed the claim (it gets too technical to get into here, but basically the court found that Harlequin had covered their behind adequately in the wording of their contracts with the authors). The plaintiffs filed an appeal.

The plaintiffs filed an appeal.

In September, 2013, the Romance Writers of America and the Authors Guild filed a 'friend of the court' brief in support of the plaintiffs.

In May, 2014, the Second Court of Appeals reversed the dismissal of one claim and sent the case to the district court for further proceedings.

THE BIGGER ISSUE: TRUST

Undoubtedly the case will continue to grind through the court system. In the end, it may be that Harlequin prevails on strictly legal grounds. To my mind, however, the bigger issue is one of trust. Authors and publishers are supposed to be on the same side, not figuring out legal loopholes that permit them to screw each other. I don't know the state of the finances of Harlequin. Maybe they, like many other publishers, are suffering financially. The best response cannot have been to poison the well that is the source of their income.

Authors and publishers are supposed to be on the same side, not figuring out legal loopholes that permit them to screw each other. I don't know the state of the finances of Harlequin. Maybe they, like many other publishers, are suffering financially. The best response cannot be to poison the well that is the source of their income.

Regardless of the result of the lawsuit, are authors going to want to work with Harlequin? Or will this drive more of them to self-publish and cut Harlequin out of the equation totally? 

Yes, publishing faces huge challenges now. I don't know whether working together more closely with authors will save traditional publishing (whether or not it deserves to be saved in its current form is another question) but surely turning on authors won't. 

 

Sunday Stories: "Fading" (Why not write one, too?)

This is a little experiment in flash fiction, using photos by a very talented photographer, Ryan McGuire, who generously lets people use his images without charge - you can find them at Gratisgraphy. The idea is to craft a story in 100 words or less. If you'd like to have a go, write a story to go with this picture, 100 words maximum, and put it in the comments section.

 

FADING

 

"I close my eyes and try to see him just like he he was. I'm so sorry, Jack. You're fading. I'd do anything to stop it but I can't."

        words: Jurgen Wolff / Image: Ryan McGuire

Another way to be an "author" by writing "books" without actually writing

Is a story 7500 words long a book? No, I don't think so, either, but that's what an outfit called "Authors in a Flash" is offering as "sizzling hot fiction romance books" for you to buy and put your name on. They'll even write an "about the author" blurb for you.

The available titles include A Brother's Betrayal, Love's Castle, and Shadow of Romance. I was going to share a little sample of A Brother's Betrayal with you, but somebody has bought it for $397.

How about the somewhat confusingly titled Egypt and in Love? Here's the description:

True romance and love can be found anywhere and even more so can be found in the sands of time along the banks of the River Nile. When love sends a Prince to distant lands to save a Princess, he must survive a treacherous landscape, bow to the feet of Pharaohs and battle creatures that have cursed the very heart of Egypt to save his loved one. This gripping saga follows the courageous adventures of the Prince in this awesome historical romance thriller.

The quality of the blurb doesn't inspire too much confidence. Were the Pharoahs foot fetishists? You had to bow to their feet? 

NEXT PARAGRAPH BARELY SAFE FOR THE OFFICE

Here's a sample from Shadows of Romance:

He was looking at her with a kind of wild need. His jaw looked stiff, his lips were closed tight and his eyes mirrored the need of the quiet plea he had just made. 

"Angela, please don’t stop."

She braced her hands on the back of the bench and moved her body up and down. His hands over her hips, he used them to guide her body as she slid over him. With every rocking motion down, she felt an erotic pressure building that she desperately wanted to satisfy. (I thought purple was a good color for the text.)

I'm assuming they have a stable of people pounding away at typewriters somewhere in the third world. Either that or a computer that eats Barbara Cartland novels and remixes them 7500 words at a time.

WHAT YOU GET

For your $397 you get the the text in a variety of ebook formats, the cover image, five images that appear inside the book, and the copyright.

For an additional fee they will personalize the book for you. That means you can put your name on the cover, add an "about the (non) author" section and fool your friends into thinking you are capable of this kind of fine writing.

Then you can put the "book" up for sale on Amazon and other sites and wait for the money to roll in.

HOW MUCH CAN YOU MAKE?

According to their FAQ:

"Thre (sic) are several factors that will determine this. Using a Authors In A Flash Book will allow you to get a Head Start as all your Metadata is tailored to get your titles discovered by readers searching for a specific topic which gives you an edge in the game. Once your book is live it depends on the additional marketing that you do which will help with sales."

That metadata thing makes sure that if somebody is searching for erotic fiction set in Egypt, or "bowing to feet of Pharoahs," for instance, they will find Egypt and in Love.

NOT ONLY FICTION

If erotic fiction isn't your thing, you can get a non-fiction book to pretend you wrote.

Actually, the only one listed at the moment is Fruit Infused Water: 50+ Great Tasting Recipes? I'm guessing it's page one: add some strawberries to water, page two: add some kiwi fruit to water, etc. but maybe there's more to it. The blurb does suggest you get a fashionable water jug and stop listening to people trying to get you to go to the gym. This one is on sale for $317.

 

ALL OUT OF CHILDREN'S BOOKS?!

There's a category for children's books, too, but it's empty at the moment. In case you are desperate to write one without actually having to come up with the words, I'm going to get you started:

Puppy was looking at her with a kind of wild need. His jaw looked stiff, his lips were closed tight and his eyes mirrored the need of the quiet plea he had just made. 

"Angela, please give me a doggie biscuit."

If you use that, please deposit $3.97 in my Paypal account.

(Those who have no objection to actually writing their own book may find mine, Your Writing Coach, helpful. It's published by Nicholas Brealey and available from your favorite bookseller.)

 

 

Sunday Stories: "Antique" (Why not write one, too?)

This is a little experiment in flash fiction, using photos by a very talented photographer, Ryan McGuire, who generously lets people use his images without charge - you can find them at Gratisgraphy. The idea is to craft a story in 100 words or less. If you'd like to have a go, write a story to go with this picture, 100 words maximum, and put it in the comments section.

ANTIQUE

"Here, have I ever shown you this? My shop the day it closed. I ran it for 45 years! I wanted to keep going but my daughter got me to sign some papers and the next thing I know I'm in this damn place. She said I wasn't able to cope any more. Nonsense! I hate this place, nothing but old people. Have I ever shown you this? This was my shop. I ran it for 45 years! My daughter's fault it closed...Where are you going? Wait, I don't think you've seen this photo of my shop..."

                       words: Jurgen Wolff / Image: Ryan McGuire

Are people more creative when standing up?

A recent study suggests that individuals who work collaboratively are more engaged and less territorial when they work standing up.

Professors at the business school at Washington University in St. Louis had students work for 30 minutes in groups of three to five to come up with ideas for a recruitment video. Half worked in a traditional office setting, sitting around a table. The other half worked in a similar room but without tables or chairs.

Their level of engagement was measured by wireless monitors; their level of protectiveness of their own ideas was assessed by surveys administered when the sessions finished. 

SO WHAT?

A report of the study in the New Republic states, "Being possessive over your own ideas is one of the least helpful things you can do when working with others." The implication is that groups in which individuals are not possessive will come up with better results. The article even suggests, "if a simple change of furniture could make people more inclined to prioritize the group goal, it’s probably something companies should consider."

THE RESULT IS CLEAR...

A press release from the University states that the standing groups' reduced territoriality resulted in "higher-quality videos." 

...OR IS IT?

However, the New Republic article states,"It turns out they didn’t see much of a difference in the end products."  

If that's true, it's not clear that it's a good thing that the study participants were more engaged and less defensive. In fact, one could argue that zoning out of a group activity from time to time (being less engaged) might give participants a chance to be more reflective. It's also possible that defending your own idea can lead to better results if your idea is better than what others are coming up with. 

I'd rather not spend the $30 it would cost to read the full text of the study in the journal (Social Pyschology and Personality Science, June 12, 2014) so I've left a comment for the author of the New Republic article, requesting that she go into more detail about any difference in the end products. Stay tuned.

 

 

Write it right: Unfortunate wording

 Time for the Associated Press to have a quick review of sentence construction. Here's the first line of an article they released today:

LIMA, Ohio (AP) -- Authorities say they have apprehended the convicted killer of three Ohio students who escaped from a prison.

No, the three Ohio students didn't escape from prison. 

Better: Authorities say the convicted killer of three Ohio students has been apprehended after escaping from prison on Thursday. 

Next, a headline that's not incorrect but perhaps unfortunately worded:

“8 Urban Fiction Authors Who Overcame Prison and Forged Careers"

 

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Ahh, the modern journalist (and the parrot)

Sunday Stories: "Leaving Duke" (Why not write one, too?)

This is a little experiment in flash fiction, using photos by a very talented photographer, Ryan McGuire, who generously lets people use his images without charge - you can find them at Gratisgraphy. The idea is to craft a story in 100 words or less. If you'd like to have a go, write a story to go with this picture, 100 words maximum, and put it in the comments section.

 

Leaving Duke

"Oh come on, Duke, don't give me that look. I didn't mean for it to happen. She had a slap coming, it was the way she fell on the hard floor that did it. She was always clumsy. Right? Anyway, buddy, I gotta leave you behind, it's too easy to find a guy travelling with a dog. This is all her damn fault! I'm gonna miss you,dude...Shit, I'm starting to cry."

                      words: Jurgen Wolff / Image: Ryan McGuire

How to have a best-selling novel...without writing a word

I get some interesting blurbs in my email but this is a new one: an offer (not to me specifically, I'm just on their mailing list, via Publisher's Weekly) to "co-author a book with a New York Times best-selling author." Guess what? we can do this without even writing a word:

• You Don't Need To Have A Manuscript Yet - Work with Wahida's Team to select one of her existing manuscripts in the fiction romance niche.

The best-selling author making this offer is Wahida Clark. I'd never heard of her but her books include Every Thug Needs a Lady, Payback With Ya Life, and Payback is a Mutha. According to her site she has been crowned the queen of street literature. She served nine and a half years in prison and now runs a publishing company. 

THE MISSING "CONGLOMERATE" BEHIND HER COMPANY

On Wahida Clark's web site, www.wclarkpublishing.com, it says "W. Clark Publishing is a subsidiary of Green and Company LLC, a publishing conglomerate and literary agency."

Strange, then, that a Google search for this conglomerate turns up only one item:  a Better Business Bureau note that the company was located in Ogden, Utah, but that it is no longer in business.

The web site listed for it by the BBB is www.green-company.com.

That url is now for sale.

Isn't is strange that Ms. Clark doesn't mention the disappearance of her parent company? Then again, her site seems not to have been updated since 2012.

A GUARANTEED FIVE-FIGURE CHECK?

The email (emphasis mine) says, 

"What if there was a way to guarantee that your book would sell thousands of copies putting your name in the spotlight and earning you a five figure check? Would You Take It? If the answer is YES! Then now you have an opportunity right now to do it! www.nytbestsellerpartner.com"

The lowest five figure amount is $10,000. Let's assume for a moment that they mean the word "guarantee" in the statement above. The royalty split is 50/50, so the book would have to earn $20,000 in royalties. 

But wait--if we don't even need to write a word, why should they be looking for partners at all? Why not publish the book themselves and keep 100% of the royalties? Probably because they want us to put up money in advance to cover their services: creating a cover, formatting the book for digital, etc.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST US TO MAKE $10,000...OR WILL WE?

I wonder whether it might cost us more than the guaranteed profit to "co-author" with Ms Clark, assuming that the contract does guarantee that return (which would be unusual--nobody can predict how many copies a book will sell, unless they plan to buy the copies themselves).  

Ms. Clark is not ready to tell us about fees until we follow these procedures: 

#1: Sign Up Using The Add To Cart Button And Make Your Good Faith Payment. ($99)
#2: You will Receive your Login and Password - Login 
#3: Read Through The Confidentiality Agreement - You will need to Accept The Terms and Conditions
#4: Fill in your Contact information page
#5: Schedule a meeting time with Wahida and her Team.
#6: Hang On and Enjoy The Ride!

The question is, will we be taking a ride...or taken for a ride?

 SALES STRATEGIES 101

The $99 Good Faith payment is fully refundable, but it means that before you find out how much money they want to charge you, you will already have taken an active step toward working with them (see Robert Cialdini's excellent book, Influence, to read about how getting people to take a small tangible first step increases the liklihood that you will agree to much bigger steps later).

You also will have signed a confidentiality agreement (which, I'm guessing, will say you promise not to reveal the terms and conditions of their offer).

Finally, you'll be talking to Wahinda herself:

• Your $99 Payment is a good faith payment and you will be interviewed by Wahida - if we can work together then awesome if not your payment is immediately refunded.

Salespeople know that it's easier to make a sale when you've got somebody on the phone and I bet Wahida has a good salesperson or two on her Team. I wouldn't be too surprised if you get called by a Team member rather than Wahida--she sounds like a busy lady.

THE BOTTOM LINE

I'm not suggesting that this offer is a scam; there's not enough information in the pitch to evaluate that. However, any "co-authoring" opportunity that doesn't require you to do any writing needs to be looked at very closely. 

I'm checking with Victoria Strauss, the "Writer Beware" expert in con tricks that target authors, to find out whether she's heard of this particular offer and give her opinion.

I'm also going to email Publisher's Weekly to ask whether they looked into the details of this offer before allowing their marketing mailing list to be used for it.

Stay tuned!

 

Want to pitch an idea? The one most important thing to remember.

The other day I got an email from a writer who had an appointment to pitch her movie idea to a producer and she was in a panic. She asked what tips I could offer. The biggest one:

Keep It Simple!

When I was in a position to hear pitches the most common problem was that the person telling the story knew it so well that he or she went into far too much detail.

Since I'd never heard the story before I couldn't tell which of the many details related to the core story and which were parts of the subplot or just digressions.

THEY SNORE, YOU LOSE! 

When you confuse people hearing your pitch you've lost them and it's very hard to get them back.

Of course how detailed you get will depend partly on whether you're giving the "elevator pitch," the two or three-minute version, or the complete story. But even for the latter it's a good idea to stick to the spine of the story.

If your story moves back and forth in time, often it's better to indicate that but tell the story in a more linear way.

For instance, you might say, "As Maria's relationship with Andre disintegrates, we see episodes from her childhood that reveal the abuse she sufferend at the hands of her father. When she is five (describe what happened), and on her tenth birthday (describe what happened). Finally, on the day she graduated from junior high school, she found the courage to resist and (describe what happened)."

Even though those episodes may be spread out in your screenplay or novel, grouping them in the pitch can make the story easier to follow.

THE KEY POINTS TO REVEAL

You might be surprised to hear how often people pitching a story leave out one or more of these essential bits:

What is the genre?

Who is the protagonist?

What's happening at the start of the story? This may or may not be the first thing that happens chronologically in your character's life. For example, you may want to bookend the story with someone remembering a major incident that had led them to a dramatic moment in the present.

What are the key problems the protagonist encounters and how does he or she respond?

Who or what represents the obstacles--sometimes the obstacles are internal but especially if you are writing a screenplay you have to find something external to represent them.

How does the conflict escalate and what is the highest point of conflict?

How does it turn out?

Ideally the story itself will reveal the underlying theme but sometimes it doesn't hurt to allude to it as well. The danger is that themes can sound quite banal when stated straightforwardly, as in "crime does not pay," or "once lost, trust is hard to regain."

However, you might say something like, "(Title) is a thriller about two brothers and the price of lost trust," and then go into your story. 

A QUERY LETTER IS A PITCH, TOO

These essentials also work in a query letter. However, that format is closer to the elevator pitch and you would not go into as much detail about the escalating conflicts and you may just set up the final conflict but not reveal how it turns out.

As I know from experience, writing a synopsis that covers the key points and also sounds interesting rather than like a list of plot points is challenging, especially if you've already written the whole novel or script. In fact, it may be the hardest thing you write!

(For a supportive guide from idea right through to publication, get a copy of my book,Your Writing Coach, published by Nicholas Brealey and available from your favorite bookseller.)