Time to Write

If It Hasn't Happened for You Yet

It can be frustrating to keep on writing while waiting for your break. Sometimes we wonder whether we're just wasting our time. All those days, weeks, months, years with nothing happening.

Of course, it's not really that nothing is happening. You're constantly learning, improving, and bringing new stories to life. The part that hasn't happened yet is the recognition from others, like editors or producers, of the value of what you're creating. And that hurts.

I have experienced this myself, and at times it has put me off even submitting material. I love the process of creating. The process of marketing? Not so much. But, of course, we have to do both. Both call for patience. Here's what the poet Rilke wrote about that:

"Being an artist means, not reckoning and counting, but ripening like the tree which does not force its sap and stands confident in the storms of spring without the fear that after them may come no summer. It does come. But it comes only to the patient, who are there as though eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly still and wide. I learn it daily, learn it with pain to which I am grateful: patience is everything!"

That's the lesson I have to learn and re-learn. Maybe it'll help you, too.

 

If you're a writer, there are no opportunities

In his book, Creative Mischief, advertising genius Dave Trott writes:

"I hear people complaining that there are no opportunities.

That no one will give them a chance.

There's nothing they can do and it's not their fault.

Here's a thing. 

There have never been any opportunities.

No one was ever feeling sorry for themselves, when someone knocked on the door and said, "How would you like me to show you a way out of this?"

It doesn't happen like that.

Never has, never will.

That's like sitting around hoping to win the lottery.

It's about hope. 

And hope is putting your problem in somebody else's hands,

Hope isn't very creative."

THE ALTERNATIVE TO HOPE IS ACTION

Trott goes on to give some examples of people in the advertising world who took action when there were no opportunities. I've done it a few times myself:

When I moved to Hollywood and had no contacts, I started a newsletter about screenwriting and interviewed agents, producers, and experienced writers. Through those contacts, I was able to get an agent.

When I noticed that there was a new person appointed to be the head of a publishing division for business personal development books, I called to find out her email address. I congratulated her and mentioned that I happened to have an idea for that kind of book and described it in a couple of lines. She asked for more information, then to meet, and eventually published three of my books. 

And one non-business example: When I was a teenager I read in the paper that Rod Serling, the producer, writer, and frontman of my favorite TV series, The Twilight Zone, was ill and in the hospital. I wrote him a letter care of the hospital and got a handwritten thank-you note from him. I cherished that note until it burned up in my house fire, and I still cherish the memory of it.

WHAT IF YOU DON'T FIND THIS EASY?

In case you're thinking, "Sure, you're the kind of person who finds that sort of thing easy." 

Not true.

I've always suffered from what these days is called social anxiety.

One time, I had the chance to go to a basketball game with Walter Matthau and some of his friends--a great networking opportunity. I was too shy to go.

Another time, I signed up for a residential writers' conference sponsored by the Writers Guild. It was a two-hour drive from Los Angeles. I drove all the way there, panicked, and drove all the way back.

However, the times I managed it have accounted for some real breakthroughs, so it's worth the push. If you are frustrated because there don't seem to be any opportunities, try thinking of how you can make some--even if it's a challenge.

Want your document to be taken more seriously?

Although most communication these days is digital, there are still times when you give someone a document. It might be a business proposal, a brochure, a letter, even a business card. Here's a simple way to have it valued more by the recipient:

Print it on heavier paper.

Yes, that's one of those strange phenomena that sounds illogical. It's the content, not the paper that should matter. But of course when we're dealing with humans, logic is not always what determines perception.

I found this strange and potentially useful information at musestorytelling.com. This finding comes from a couple of studies of the effect of heaviness. When some people were handed somebody's resume on a light clipboard and others were given it on a heavy clipboard, the latter judged the applicant to be more serious about the position and more qualified.

Hmm, maybe you should take along your own heavy clipboard. Substitute it for the one they give you when they hand you a form to fill out. 

In another study, two groups were given the same book. One group was told it was an important book, the other wasn't. Both were asked to guess the book's weight. The group that was told it was important guessed it was heavier than the other group did.

I guess it goes back to the old saying, "Never mind the quality, feel the weight!"

By the way, I'm a big believer in the maxim "do something different" if you want to stand out. These days, sending a letter instead of an email is different. Now you know to print it out on heavy paper. 

 

 

Writers (and others): Watch your language!

On your road to success as a screenwriter, you’re going to have to convince a lot of people that what you’re doing is worthwhile. The same is true for almost any other profession.

If you're a screenwriter, how you speak to agents, financiers, actors, studio or network people and even how you speak to yourself can make a big difference to the results you get.

Nick Kemp is a Neuro Linguistic Programming trainer who has worked in schools to help students and teachers be more effective.  In an article published in the magazine ReSource he reveals a simple change in language that creates positive effects.

He noticed that in interviews with staff, many of them used phrases like "I’ll try to..."  or "We'll aim to..." or "Hopefully..." or "All being well..." 

All of these imply that failure is possible (perhaps even that it's likely). When he had them switch to definite statements like "I will..."  it changed their thinking and their whole state in the classroom. 

Listen to how you speak about things you are about to undertake, especially when dealing with agents, producers, actors, directors—anybody who may hire you to write a script or with whom you might collaborate. Do you use qualifiers that suggest you may not/will not succeed?

If you find it difficult to be aware of this as it goes on, try tape recording yourself for a few hours. 

You might want to extend this to how you respond to questions like, "How are you?" or "How's it going?" Do you say (as I'm guilty of doing), "Not too bad"?

It would be better to reply, "Going well," or "Fine, thanks" --at least to those people who aren't actually interested in a factual account of our challenges (which is most people).  

Switch to definite statements that presuppose success, and notice the difference in how you feel, how you carry out your work, and the level of interest you get from others.

 

How to avoid being scammed by people like this guy

Author and TV producer Lee Goldberg has a post on his blog about James Strauss, a "convicted con artist and fake TV writer."

Goldberg has received many emails with horror stories from people saying they've been conned or harassed by Strauss.

A recent one was from a young filmmaker asking whether he should do free work for Strauss in exchange for help breaking in to the business. Since Strauss has zero real Hollywood experience and has stiffed screenwriters, conference organizers, and many others, the answer is a loud NO.,

In 1998 Strauss pleaded guilty to defrauding a teachers' retirement fund out of $400,000. He was sentenced to 21 months. In addition he was accused of embezzling more than $20,000 from a Santa Fe Business while out on pre-release from the other case. 

Unfortunately, there are many like him out there, swindling aspiring writers and others. 

HOW TO AVOID BEING SCAMMED

If you are unsure about anybody offering you services like matching you with producers or publishers, public relations, promotion, editing, publishing help, etc. do your homework before you hand over money or agree to work for free! Here's what to do:

1: Google their name, the name of their company and anything else you know about them. Go past the first page of results. Smart crooks often set up fake websites full of endorsements for themselves, but under different names.

Many times they'll have a headline like, "Is X a scam?" and in the body of the site say, of course not! They use SEO to drive these sites to the top of Google results, pushing genuine sites down to page 2 or 3 or 4.

In the case of a bogus publisher, I Googled the names of the books they had supposedly published and none were listed on Amazon, nor did any of the alleged authors have websites.

2: If they feature endorsements, follow them up. Ask for complete names and contact details. If all you can get is quotes like, "X got me a big Hollywood deal!" -- Annette F., Detroit...well, that's not enough!

It's true that some people who give an endorsement don't like to give their full names and email addresses but the person in question should be able to give you at least a few who are willing to be contacted via email.

3: If the endorsements also feature photos, do a reverse image search.

First, go to http://images.google.com/ and click on the camera button and upload the image (you can usually click and drag it off the page on the person's website). Or you can drag and drop it into the search blank on the Google image search page.

Then also use TinEye, the simple instructions are at www.tineye.com. Both are free to use and sometimes an image source pops up on one but not on the other.

If you're dealing with a con artist, the image may turn out to have been sourced from a stock image site. That turned out to be the case with one subsidy publisher I looked into a couple of years ago.

4: Ask for specifics. For instance, if they say they can get you in the door at a studio, ask whom they deal with there--who is their contact?

That may be enough to scare them off.

If they're brazen they may say, "Spielberg, of course!" Don't be afraid to email that supposed contact, tell them what you've been told and ask if they have a relationship with the person making the claims.

5. Spread the word. If you find somebody is deceiving people, spread the word via your blog, Facebook, other social media and to relevant groups (like writing groups) and organizations.

Be sure to stick to the facts. Don't say, "X is a  con artist and fraudster!" Instead, say, "X offered to connect me with producer Y, yet when I got in touch with Y I was told they have never heard of X." Or, "The pictures of supposed satisfied clients on X's websites turn out to be stock photos purchased from iStock."

The reason for being careful to stick to the facts is that scam artists often like to threaten lawsuits. I had a few threatening letters from Tate Publishing, for instance, before they went bust and two of the principals were arrested. But because I'd stuck to the facts, there was nothing to sue me about.

Usually they're bluffing, but getting into even a bogus lawsuit is no fun. The facts should be damning enough. The reason I can characterize James Strauss as a con artist is that he's been convicted of embezzlement. Is he still conning people right now? I don't know but I'd sure avoid getting involved with him in any way, based on his past and the continuing complaints.

Let the buyer beware!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning from first pages that work...or don't

You pick up a book or check the "look inside" feature on Amazon, and read the first page.

Do you want to continue reading? Enough to buy the book?

On the Writer Unboxed site, there's a feature called "Flog a Pro: would you pay to turn the first page of this bestseller?"

As the title suggests, the feature reveals the first page of a popular book, asks you to decide whether you'd pay to continue reading, and explains why they would or wouldn't. You can vote and see how others voted.

The most recent example was the first page of Glass House by Louise Penny, which held the ninth spot on the New York Times hardcover bestseller list for Sept. 17, 2017.

I opted for "no", as did 54% of the total voters--but since this was a new post, only 17 people had voted.

The post's author, novelist Ray Rhamey, also voted no.

Like Rhamey, I felt that too much of the first page was devoted to the unremarkable musings of a character I don't know yet. The book is part of a character series, so that might not bother people who have read others in the collection. 

Focusing the the first page is an enjoyable way to get yourself to be analytical about what works (or doesn't) to grab the reader, a good source of lessons for our own writing. It's not only browsers who pay attention to the first page, so do agents and publishers. Crafting a strong first page is equally important for screenplays. 

However, avoid the temptation to try to make the first page perfect before you write the second and third. That's better left for the second and subsequent drafts, if you want to avoid driving yourself crazy.

---
Would you like writing advice from the classic and modern greats? You'll find it in my book, Your Creative Writing Masterclass, published by Nicholas Brealey/Hachette, and available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller.

 

 

More warnings: Loiacono Agency, Swetky Agency, Warner Literary Group

In case you aren't familiar with the excellent Writer Beware blog, you may want to check it out.

The post of Feb. 16 contains a red flag alert about:

The Loiacono Literary Agency, which apparently has placed most of its authors' works with small publishers for which you don't actually need an agent to submit, or with vanity publishers;

The Swetky Literary Agency, which often suggests that author needs an (expensive) editor--who happens to be the husband or partner of the woman who runs the agency, a relationship they don't mention;

The Warner Literary Group, which has averaged only two deals per year since it was founded, and has been the target of several lawsuits by unhappy clients. They also have a contract with a clause that gives them the right to represent the work not only for the life of the author but also for 70 years afterward.

You can read the more detailed warnings here.

The ease of self-publishing has shaken out some of the more dubious vanity presses and agents, but it still pays to check out any agent or publisher who offers you a contract and go over the contract with a fine-tooth comb.  

 

Agent Luigi Bonomi's tips for writing a novel agents will love

How to attract a literary agent

In an article about a new contest for first-time novelists, agent Luigi Bonomi shared this advice:

BEGIN THE FIRST PAGE WITH A GREAT SENTENCE that pulls the reader in. Your first important reader is likely to be an agent (if you're looking for representation), and Bonomi says, "If the first page is well written, captivating, intriguing with the promise of a great plot to come, then the agent will continue reading. After just a few pages, they will get a sense of whether this is a story for them."

As an example, he cites the opening sentence of Coming Home, a psychological thriller by Annabel Kantaria: "I was making bechamel sauce for lasagna when I found out that my father had died."

His other tips for winning over an agent:

• Open mid-scene, so the reader is interested immediately in the story. You can go back later and fill in what happened before that scene, if necessary.
  
  
• Provide the agent with a 2-3 page synopsis of about 600 words that includes the ending.
  
  
• Double space your manuscript and proofread it carefully.

The contest for first-time novelists

The details of the contest, which has a £20,000 first prize and is free to enter, are here. Entries must be received by April 16, 2016, and if your novel isn't finished you must be able to complete it by October 30, 2016. 

Related articles

How can authors promote their novels without tweeting or blogging?

Writing success: a band shows the way

What can writers learn about success from a band?

The band X Ambassadors has some lessons for writers about how to get ahead.

USA Today quotes band member Sam Harris as attributing their progress to "perseverance (playing any and all gigs available), connections (people who like you may help you later) and remembering who's really important" (the fans). 

The writers' version would be taking any and all writing gigs available, networking with a variety of people connected to publishing or film or TV production, and remembering we are writing for an audience, not for ourselves.

Harris added the important proviso, "Obviously the music [or the writing] has to come from a personal place...but at the end of the day, these fans are the ones that are doing everything for you."

Writers don't have the same relationship with fans until their writing is published or produced, but we can substitute whoever is our primary audience--which, in the first instance, could be agents, producers, or publishers. 

Think outside the box to get attention for your writing

Harris also revealed that when the band kept getting rejections from venues, he made up a fake manager named Paul Lewis. The clubs were more responsive to a manager than to a band member and eventually they were able to get a real manager.

Obviously, you have to be careful with things like this--sometimes the line between a prank and fraud is a thin one. But it certainly demonstrates creativity in marketing.

They also went $30,000 in debt to produce their second self-funded EP. A great example of self-belief because it paid off. Naturally, if it had failed we'd be calling it delusion.

Hang in there past the "no"

One final useful comment from Harris: "The business is built on no. That's the sad part. It's just the land of discouragement. But there's that amazing feeling when you get that yes...If you want it easy, go work at a library and just shelve books."

The way libraries are going, that may not be a great career choice, but if Harris ever gets tired of music, he should apply for a job teaching at Harvard Business School.

Writers and Artists are not Beggars! (Don't make the corn flakes cry)

I'm working on a new online course, Profit from Your Creativity, and one section is about mindset.

One myth I'm writing about is that somehow people who publish your book or give your paintings space in their gallery are doing you a favor. Let's go to the supermarket to see if this is true...

At the supermarket you are confronted by an entire aisle of cereals. There are more cereals competing for your attention than can ever win it. It's a buyer's market.

If you choose the shredded wheat, are you doing it a favor?  No, you're choosing it because you think it will taste good and/or be good for you.

It's a win for the shredded wheat and for you.

DON'T MAKE THE CORN FLAKES CRY!

Should the corn flakes take your rejection personally? Does it mean they should slink back to the Kellog's factory, knowing that nobody else will ever buy them?

Silly, right? Yet that's the attitude a lot of writers and artists have when their work is rejected. 

All it means is that the person who rejected your work doesn't get it. It's their opinion that your work can't make any money for them. They may be right. If they are not excited about your work they wouldn't be any good at selling it to a publisher (if the rejector is an agent, for instance). By rejecting you, they are disqualifying themselves. They have shown they were not the business partner you were looking for.

If they do accept your work, they are doing it because they think they can profit from it. There's certainly nothing wrong with that, but it underlines the fact that it's a transaction from which both parties can profit. It's a relationship of equals. 

WHAT KIND OF GIRL SCOUT ARE YOU?

You may think that your attitude is not that important--it's the work that will determine whether or not it is accepted. However, the way you present it, for instance in a query letter or pitch, can have a major influence as well. Certainly it can influence whether or not the other person ever reads or looks at what you are offering. Three girl scouts will show you how that works.

At some point or another you've probably been approached by Girl Scouts selling cookies. Imagine three Girl Scouts with three different opening lines and think about how you'd respond:

Girl Scout A: "Hi, we're selling cookies. You don't want to buy any, do you?"

Girl Scout B: "Hi, we're selling cookies. Do you want to buy some?"

Girl Scout C: "Hi, we're selling cookies. Which do you like better, chocolate chip or brownies?"

It's really easy to agree with Girl Scout A: "No, I don't, thank you."

Girl Scout B's approach is better, but it still makes it very easy to say no.

Girl Scout C doesn't give me the chance to answer no right away. Instead, she prompts me to think about cookies. Which do I like better? If I like brownies, her question probably makes me think about (and maybe visualise) eating a brownie. Yes, please!

Unfortunately, a lot of writers are like Girl Scout A. Their query letters include negatives, like "My work hasn't been published yet, but...." Or in a pitch they say something like, "I haven't worked out all the details yet, but..." If you do that, nobody is going to buy your cookies.

THESE COOKIES WILL [not really] CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

I'm not suggesting that you go to the other extreme: "This book will outsell Harry Potter because it's the most exciting blah blah blah!" That's a turn-off too. It smacks of delusion or desperation, neither of which looks good on a writer or artist.

Instead, you want to use a form of presentation that reflects your enthusiasm for your project...and a potential win-win for equals. 

 

(Would you like more useful information about writing, all the way from the idea through to publication? You'll find lots of useful help in my book, Your Writing Coach. It's published by Nicholas Brealey and available from your favorite bookseller.)

The one thing writers need that can't be taught (other than talent)

A successful writer needs to master the craft of writing, but there's another requirement and this one can't be taught: a thick skin. Writer Barbara Henderson revealed her experiences with this, for an article on ChronicleLive.com, written by Hannah Flint:

"The 53-year-old said she had suffered major setbacks in her career and that let-downs from publishing companies could be hurtful.

The former BBC Look North journalist said aspiring writers had to learn to pick themselves back up again after facing rejections from publishers if they wanted to make it.

She spoke of her 'blackest moment' as a writer in which her children’s novel, The Serpent House, was rejected after a year of it being held by a publisher.

It happened after the book was shortlisted for the 2010 Times/Chicken House prize, but Barbara had missed out on winning. And then Chicken House, a children’s book publishing company, kept the manuscript for a year before telling Barbara that they were no longer interested.

She said: “That was such a setback and I was gutted. I can’t do anything about it, but that was my blackest moment. After a while, I was able to feel strong enough to put it out again.”

I can relate to that: it took 13 years between the time I wrote the screenplay for "The Real Howard Spitz" and the time it was produced. And one of my sitcom proposals was held by a broadcaster for more than a year before they decided although they liked it, they felt the audience wouldn't get it. I'm sure just about every writer has one or more stories like that...but that doesn't mean it gets any easier.

Barbara Henderson said it took her 18 months before she recovered from the disappointment and sent the manuscript out again. It's a good thing she did, because the book found a publisher and won praise. 

She said, “My advice to anyone else would be to be very persistent and try to toughen up a little bit because it is really hurtful if someone turns you down.” 

(for friendly advice on writing your book, get a copy of Your Writing Coach, published by Nicholas Brealey and available from your favorite bookseller.)

Want to pitch an idea? The one most important thing to remember.

The other day I got an email from a writer who had an appointment to pitch her movie idea to a producer and she was in a panic. She asked what tips I could offer. The biggest one:

Keep It Simple!

When I was in a position to hear pitches the most common problem was that the person telling the story knew it so well that he or she went into far too much detail.

Since I'd never heard the story before I couldn't tell which of the many details related to the core story and which were parts of the subplot or just digressions.

THEY SNORE, YOU LOSE! 

When you confuse people hearing your pitch you've lost them and it's very hard to get them back.

Of course how detailed you get will depend partly on whether you're giving the "elevator pitch," the two or three-minute version, or the complete story. But even for the latter it's a good idea to stick to the spine of the story.

If your story moves back and forth in time, often it's better to indicate that but tell the story in a more linear way.

For instance, you might say, "As Maria's relationship with Andre disintegrates, we see episodes from her childhood that reveal the abuse she sufferend at the hands of her father. When she is five (describe what happened), and on her tenth birthday (describe what happened). Finally, on the day she graduated from junior high school, she found the courage to resist and (describe what happened)."

Even though those episodes may be spread out in your screenplay or novel, grouping them in the pitch can make the story easier to follow.

THE KEY POINTS TO REVEAL

You might be surprised to hear how often people pitching a story leave out one or more of these essential bits:

What is the genre?

Who is the protagonist?

What's happening at the start of the story? This may or may not be the first thing that happens chronologically in your character's life. For example, you may want to bookend the story with someone remembering a major incident that had led them to a dramatic moment in the present.

What are the key problems the protagonist encounters and how does he or she respond?

Who or what represents the obstacles--sometimes the obstacles are internal but especially if you are writing a screenplay you have to find something external to represent them.

How does the conflict escalate and what is the highest point of conflict?

How does it turn out?

Ideally the story itself will reveal the underlying theme but sometimes it doesn't hurt to allude to it as well. The danger is that themes can sound quite banal when stated straightforwardly, as in "crime does not pay," or "once lost, trust is hard to regain."

However, you might say something like, "(Title) is a thriller about two brothers and the price of lost trust," and then go into your story. 

A QUERY LETTER IS A PITCH, TOO

These essentials also work in a query letter. However, that format is closer to the elevator pitch and you would not go into as much detail about the escalating conflicts and you may just set up the final conflict but not reveal how it turns out.

As I know from experience, writing a synopsis that covers the key points and also sounds interesting rather than like a list of plot points is challenging, especially if you've already written the whole novel or script. In fact, it may be the hardest thing you write!

(For a supportive guide from idea right through to publication, get a copy of my book,Your Writing Coach, published by Nicholas Brealey and available from your favorite bookseller.)

Is your book unique? Oh oh!

Is your book unique? That may not be such a great thing.

If we stick to the strict definition of unique, a book can't be "somewhat unique" or "very unique". Unique means one of a kind. 

Of course there are very few things that are unique. Most are variations of what already exists. However, from time to time I meet an author who says their book or screenplay really is unique--nothing like it has ever been done. 

If that's true of what you are writing, prepare for an uphill battle. 

One of the first things a publisher asks is "what are some comparable books?"

It may surprise you that if you say there aren't any, that's a negative as far as the publisher goes. They know that something really new will require too much work to explain to an audience. They prefer saying "This is just like (name of best-seller) but even better."

If you want to attract a publisher, put some comparables in your query letter or proposal and explain why yours is similar and also how it's (a bit) different. Naturally, choose books that have sold well. 

If you self-publish you'll have to make the same thing clear to readers.

If you do have something unique, congratulations. The odds are  it will be a huge success...or a huge flop. It's possilbe that there hasn't been anything like it because nobody actually wants anything like it...or because they didn't know they wanted something like it but now that it exists they can't wait.    

(Want to be even more creative? Get a copy of the colorful, fun to read, and highly useful book, CREATIVITY NOW, published by Pearson and available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller.)

Related articles

If you're discouraged about your writing (or your year)

Have two solutions for every writers' obstacle

Your Query Letter: 10 thing that will make them throw it in the trash

Have two solutions for every writers' obstacle

Writers can use this good bit of advice from Craig Ballantyne: Plan ahead. Always have two solutions for every obstacle.

• Whenever you send out a manuscript, already know the next place you'll send it if the first is foolish enough to reject it.
  
  
• Do the same when you approach an agent--have another one waiting in the wings.
  
  
• If you can't find a traditional publisher, be ready to consider self-publishing.
  
  
• When you're working on one project, have another in mind as the next one. If you have any thoughts about it, jot them down and put them into a folder.

Having a back-up plan reduces the anxiety inherent in this line of work and makes it easier to keep going.

(Another thing that helps is having a writing coach in a book--and that's what you'll get in my book, called, not too surprisingly, Your Writing Coach. It's published by Nicholas Brealey and available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller. This holiday season consider supporting your local independent book store by doing your Christmas book buying there.)

Your Query Letter: 10 thing that will make them throw it in the trash

You probably know what needs to go into a query letter to a publisher or producer: the name and genre of your script or manuscript, a succinct but entertaining summary of the story, and any relevant information about yourself. 

Your goal is to get all of that into a one page letter or email of equivalent length. It should read smoothly and lead the reader to ask to see either the complete screenplay or (in the case of books) the first three chapters and a synopsis. 

WHAT DOES NOT BELONG IN A QUERY LETTER

How rich your book or screenplay is going to make them.

That friends and members of your family have told you it’s the best thing they have ever read.

The names of several super-successful books or movies the success of which will pale once your masterpiece is published or produced.

Your complete biography (including hobbies, pets, life goals, academic achievements, favorite books, famous people you have met, etc.—unless any of these are directly relevant to the project).

That this isn’t your final draft but you think it’s good enough to give them the idea.

Summaries of another six or eight projects you have in mind.

Drawings showing the cover image or movie poster illustration you think would be good.

If it’s a screenplay, your thoughts about casting or the choice of a director.

The fact that it’s already been turned down by numerous others who obviously were not as bright as the person you’re writing to now.

The statement, “If you want to find out how the story ends, you’ll have to read the complete manuscript.” Extra points deducted for adding “lol” or a smiley face.

Even if the recipient doesn't throw away your query letter as a result, they'll consider you less than professional. And yes, every one of these has appeared in query letters to agents and producers (sometimes more than one per letter). If you avoid all of these, you'll already be ahead of the game.

(For more tips on writing--from idea through to publication or production--get my book, "Your Writing Coach," published by Nicholas Brealey and available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller.)