Time to Write

If It Hasn't Happened for You Yet

It can be frustrating to keep on writing while waiting for your break. Sometimes we wonder whether we're just wasting our time. All those days, weeks, months, years with nothing happening.

Of course, it's not really that nothing is happening. You're constantly learning, improving, and bringing new stories to life. The part that hasn't happened yet is the recognition from others, like editors or producers, of the value of what you're creating. And that hurts.

I have experienced this myself, and at times it has put me off even submitting material. I love the process of creating. The process of marketing? Not so much. But, of course, we have to do both. Both call for patience. Here's what the poet Rilke wrote about that:

"Being an artist means, not reckoning and counting, but ripening like the tree which does not force its sap and stands confident in the storms of spring without the fear that after them may come no summer. It does come. But it comes only to the patient, who are there as though eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly still and wide. I learn it daily, learn it with pain to which I am grateful: patience is everything!"

That's the lesson I have to learn and re-learn. Maybe it'll help you, too.

 

Why you will hate your writing at some point (and what to do about it)

It's a fact of the writing life that at some point you will hate your project and will feel like giving up on it.

It's important to know that this is natural--and not a reason to give up.

This can happen at any point in the project but usually, it happens when we're about halfway through the first draft. At the mid-point, it sinks in that what we've written doesn't match the pristine, perfect version of it we had in mind. Also, there's still such a long way to go. 

This is when we may be tempted by another pristine, perfect vision. "Write me instead!" it cries. "I'll be better!" Spoiler alert: it won't. It will have the same or similar issues and you'll hit the same point again.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP ON YOUR PROJECT

Here's the process I recommend for when you feel like giving up on a project:

1: Step away from it for a week or two. During that time, don't work on it or even think about it. If you've been working hard, take a break. Read some books, see some movies, go to an art gallery or museum, spend some time in a park. See some friends you haven't seen for a while. Eat some ice cream. 

2: Return to the project, go somewhere other than your writing desk, and look at it as though somebody else wrote it. Make a list of its good points and weaknesses. You may be surprised to find that during your break from it your subconscious mind was still working on it and now presents you with some new ideas that will improve it.

3: Decide: If a good friend was working on this, would you advise them to give up?

If not, return to it, refreshed and with a better idea of what it requires. Ideally, finish the draft before going back to make changes in the first half. However, if you now have a  new approach that changes the first half in a major way, go back and do a quick new draft of the first half, too.

If yes, get a trusted outside opinion. Someone who approaches it with a fresh eye may well be able to suggest the fix that eludes you. 

If you still feel like quitting it, go ahead---but not before you think about what you have learned. What was wrong with it? How can you avoid making the same mistake in your next project? When I say dump it, I don't mean throw it away. Put it in a folder and when you've finished your next project go back to it. You may have gained a new perspective and want to take it up again, or you may discover you can use part of it in a new project. Or you may never want to see it again. Either way, you'll know that you gave it a fair shot.

Motivation: some days the mountain is too high

I see a lot of motivational posters featuring somebody climbing a mountain.

That's great, but some days the mountain is too high.

Some days taking one step is all we can manage.

Some days getting out of bed and putting your socks on is a win.

Even if the socks don't match.

Probably this is most relevant to those of us who battle with depression, but my guess is everybody feels this way at least once in a while.

This is my motivational poster for those days:

                                                                                                                                                                                   copyright 2021 Jurgen Wolff

 

 

You've got to tell the world how to treat you

The other day I ran across this quote from James Baldwin:

"You've got to tell the world how to treat you. If the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble."

It reminded me of an email I received recently from an aspiring writer who was doubting herself because she hadn't sold anything yet. "Am I even a writer?" she asked. 

She was letting the world--or one part of the world--define her.

I told her, "You write, therefore you are a writer. If tomorrow a publisher accepts your novel, are you a different person? If a publisher never accepts your novel, are you a different person?"

Yes, of course, most of us want our work to reach and affect others.

We can decide whether to submit our work to publishers or producers, and we can decide not to be discouraged (for long) when it takes time to find somebody who wants to buy what we've written.

We have the option of publishing it ourselves or, admittedly with greater difficulty, making a film ourselves.

But, most of all, it's our decision whether or not we are writers, not anybody else's. When we are confident and proceed with boldness, the world tends to pay attention--sooner or later. 

Having doubts is natural--probably like you, I have days when I lose heart. On those days it's good to remember James Baldwin's words and get back to our desks and do what we were born to do.

To make more progress, make it visible

The problem with a lot of goals is that their rewards are off in the future. Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated when the prize is far off. To stay motivated, come up with a way to make your progress visible.

Charts, calendars, and other forms are very useful for this. For instance:

Do you want to get or stay fit? Keep track of when you exercise and for how long--this might be how many minutes you walk or run, how many reps you do of different weight-training exercises, and so on. For instance, when my gym closed due to the pandemic I bought a rowing machine. My goal is to use it at least five days a week, and to increase the amount of time by one minute every day until I hit 30 minutes and then up the resistance every week.

Do you want to write a novel or screenplay?  Record the number of sessions and the number of words or pages you wrote in each session and your running total.

Do you want to learn a new skill? Keep track of how many lessons you complete.

Do you want to improve a relationship? Keep track of the number of positive statements you make to the other person (compliments, thanks, etc.)--the experts say your ratio of positive to negative statements should be at least five to one.

Do you want to feel good about yourself (and maybe be more popular)? Commit to doing one act of kindness per day and keep track of them.

Make it easy to keep track

I keep my rowing chart right next to the rowing machine so it's easy to jot down the times. Whatever format you use, keep it visible and easy to access.

Review and adjust as necessary

Another benefit of recording progress is that it becomes apparent when you're not making any. Put it on your to-do list to review your progress once a week.

If your calendar or chart shows too many blanks, stop and think about what you can change in order to get better results.

For example, maybe you set out to go for a walk first thing in the morning, but that's not working. Decide on an alternative and try that. Keep looking at the results and trying new approaches until you find one that works.

Be prepared to adjust as your circumstances change. During the summer, a walk in the evening may be enjoyable; in winter you may prefer to move it from the dark evenings to early mornings.

When necessary, instead of abandoning your efforts, adjust them. If you have relatives visiting for a week, it may make sense to cut down on your writing sessions temporarily. If you have a cold, it may be a good idea to suspend your exercise sessions.  

Add some rewards

You can increase the power of measurement even more by adding small rewards to achieving short-term goals. For instance, every time you exercise 5 days out of 7, watch something you've been meaning to catch on Netflix, or have a bubble bath, or buy yourself an ebook. If you like, you can attach somewhat larger rewards to meeting your monthly targets.

Your turn. What are you going to start measuring--and achieving?

 

 

 

 

Writing: it's a job!

Screenwriter Michael McDowell said this to his potential screenwriting partner:

"If you’re going to work with me, look at it like we’re working in a bank.

We get in at nine, we have a cup of coffee, we say good morning, then we go to work.

And we write until lunch.

We go have our lunch.

We come back. We write again until three o’clock in the afternoon.

We fold up the writing. We return whatever phone calls and whatever business of writing we have to do.

And we do this five, six days a week.

And it’s a job.

It’s not you sitting with a metaphorical beret in a metaphorical loft waiting for inspiration to strike.

It’s a job.'”

I have to admit I have never worked that way. Part of my motivation in becoming a writer was to get away from the 9 to 5 routine. I've always felt more creative in the evenings, so frequently I write until the early hours of the morning and then hit the sack and sleep late.

However, the part of it that is true for all professionals is that you have to have discipline. You have to put in the time, consistently.

Even if you sleep until noon, you have to devote a certain number of hours to writing and to the business aspect of writing. 

FOR PART-TIME WRITERS

Even if you're writing as a sideline, if you want to be productive, setting aside a specific time to write and to do the important writing-related tasks (e.g., finding an agent, learning more about the craft, etc.) is the key to moving forward.

Treat it as a part-time job, even if you're not getting paid at this point. 

GO BIG OR GO SMALL, BUT GO

Which works better for you: finding 30 minutes a day several days a week to write, maybe getting up early or staying up late, or working during your lunch hour; or setting aside a big chunk of time on the weekend?

Use trial and error to discover the way you find easiest to be consistent.

NO BLOCKS ALLOWED

In a regular job you're not allowed to say, "You know, I'm just not feeling it today, so I'm going home. I'll be back in the office when I feel inspired again."

It should be the same with writing.

If you are blocked, you have lots of options. They include:

• working on something else for a bit, then returning to the project
  
  
• trying to work in a different environment (the park, a cafe, etc.)
  
  
• devoting the time for brainstorming sessions on how to move forward
  
  
• pretending your best writing friend has this problem--what would you advise them to do? (Then do it.)
  
  
• if it's a story problem, getting help from a writing group or another writer you respect
  
  
• if it's a problem in the middle of your script or novel, looking for the source of the problem in the earlier sections

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD--YET

There's at least one point in every project when I convince myself that it's no good and I should just stop and move on to something else. Fortunately, most of the time that's not true, it's just the normal "dip" that happens in the middle. 

The solution is to keep going. Even if it really isn't good you can make it better in the next draft and the one after that.

The work comes first, the payoff comes later--if you're lucky and, even more important, if you're dedicated.

How to be successful in the TV and film industry

I saw two very wise quotes about the film business by director Gina Prince-Bythewood ("The Old Guard"):

"This industry is about overcoming 'no'."

That's true of the publishing industry as well, and probably all of the arts. 

"You need just one yes."

Actually, sometimes you need more than one, but one gets the ball rolling. 

Yes, it's a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack, and that's how the people on the other side see it, too.

Producers are looking for something they consider special and often they don't know it until they see it. They see a lot of scripts that aren't it, and finally one that IS it. 

Sometimes--no, MOST times--your script isn't it. But they're going to keep looking so if you keep writing good scripts and submitting them, it may well be that one of those times it is a match.

If you remember that 'no' is the rule rather than the exception, the process gets a little easier to bear. But Prince-Bythewood says, "But it's hard. There were many days where I was on the floor."

I got to know the floor, too, and sometimes I still find myself on it. If you can deal with that, you're on your way.

How to write healing stories

At the moment our stories about what is normal are in disarray. It doesn't seem normal not to hug your friends, not to be able to go to the movies, not to be within six feet of people in a store without a mask. The stories we tell ourselves about progress and goals and what's important have been shaken up.

The silver lining is that when old stories are questioned, there's room for new stories to emerge. It seems to me what is needed now is stories that promote healing. 

Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes, in Stories as Medicine, "Stories, particularly healing stories, depend on the amount of self--the gristle, blood, and bone--that the teller is willing to put into them. Not all story is medicine. Generally, a story is not medicine unless it has caused the teller to laugh or to weep."

The teller, not just the listener. In other words, the story has to come from your heart. That doesn't mean it has to be a heavy drama; Groundhog Day and Tootsie are two examples from comedy.

EXAMPLE: HEALING AT MIDLIFE

In Fairy Tales and the Psychology of Men and Women at Midlife, Allan B. Chinen writes, "Before newspapers, radio, or television, fairy tales and folk tales were the only mass media, providing news, commentary, humor and entertainment. Storytellers put insights about their lives and the human condition into their stories. Many dealt specifically with characters in the middle third of life."

He notes, "Mid-life stories emphasize the importance of dealing with life as we find it, not as we imagine or hope it to be. These tales highlight an important point: that growth is possible in the middle years, no matter what kind of childhood one has had."

YOU ARE THE NEW MYTH-MAKER

If you write for TV and movies you are one of the myth-makers now.

Of course, traditionally a lot of commercial television has been treated as the placeholder between the commercials that sell us bogus stories, for instance, if we use shampoo X we'll have a great love life.

A lot of movies are near-duplicates of each other, seeing how many sequels the producers can crank out before we tire of that story.

However, there have always been exceptions and with all the additional outlets available now there's more room than ever before for a wider range of stories--including the one you feel the strong need to tell.

STORIES, NOT SERMONS

While your story has a theme, the screenwriter's or novelist's job isn't to propagandize, it's to say, "Here's an authentic story." Then it's up to the reader or viewer to decide what if means to them and whether there's anything in it they can use.  

THERE'S A BONUS!

I've always found when I've written about a subject close to my heart, it's been therapeutic for me, as well. That's the bonus you get when you write a healing story--at the very least, it helps heal you.

 

If you're low on creative energy right now...

If you're low on creative energy right now, you're not alone.

As I write this, we're in the middle (?) of the pandemic and everyone I've talked to says they're feeling lethargic. Most are finding it hard to be creative.

I don't know whether that's the effect of prolonged anxiety, the lack of stimulation because we've all been penned up so long, or something else. Probably it's a combination of factors.

I did a little informal survey for tips on overcoming this ennui and here are the top ones that came up:

1. Don't be hard on yourself about it. That only adds pressure to what already feels like a pressured time.
   
   
2. Reconnect with the creative work you've found inspiring in the past--works by your favorite authors, painters, musicians, etc. It could also mean re-watching a favorite film or TV series.
   
   
3. Set yourself a small creative task every day. For a writer, this might be composing a haiku, the opening sentence of a story or screenplay, a colorful three-word description of a character. If any of those inspire you to keep going and turn it into something longer, go with it.
   
   
4. Add a creative element to the next email you send to a friend--like a haiku or a doodle.
   
   
5. Take a walk and look for one interesting thing to photograph. I've been doing this and I've added one of mine below.

If you've found any other methods useful, let me know in the comments or to [email protected].

Our creativity is one of the most useful tools we have for getting through these tough times, let's not abandon it!

If you're a writer, there are no opportunities

In his book, Creative Mischief, advertising genius Dave Trott writes:

"I hear people complaining that there are no opportunities.

That no one will give them a chance.

There's nothing they can do and it's not their fault.

Here's a thing. 

There have never been any opportunities.

No one was ever feeling sorry for themselves, when someone knocked on the door and said, "How would you like me to show you a way out of this?"

It doesn't happen like that.

Never has, never will.

That's like sitting around hoping to win the lottery.

It's about hope. 

And hope is putting your problem in somebody else's hands,

Hope isn't very creative."

THE ALTERNATIVE TO HOPE IS ACTION

Trott goes on to give some examples of people in the advertising world who took action when there were no opportunities. I've done it a few times myself:

When I moved to Hollywood and had no contacts, I started a newsletter about screenwriting and interviewed agents, producers, and experienced writers. Through those contacts, I was able to get an agent.

When I noticed that there was a new person appointed to be the head of a publishing division for business personal development books, I called to find out her email address. I congratulated her and mentioned that I happened to have an idea for that kind of book and described it in a couple of lines. She asked for more information, then to meet, and eventually published three of my books. 

And one non-business example: When I was a teenager I read in the paper that Rod Serling, the producer, writer, and frontman of my favorite TV series, The Twilight Zone, was ill and in the hospital. I wrote him a letter care of the hospital and got a handwritten thank-you note from him. I cherished that note until it burned up in my house fire, and I still cherish the memory of it.

WHAT IF YOU DON'T FIND THIS EASY?

In case you're thinking, "Sure, you're the kind of person who finds that sort of thing easy." 

Not true.

I've always suffered from what these days is called social anxiety.

One time, I had the chance to go to a basketball game with Walter Matthau and some of his friends--a great networking opportunity. I was too shy to go.

Another time, I signed up for a residential writers' conference sponsored by the Writers Guild. It was a two-hour drive from Los Angeles. I drove all the way there, panicked, and drove all the way back.

However, the times I managed it have accounted for some real breakthroughs, so it's worth the push. If you are frustrated because there don't seem to be any opportunities, try thinking of how you can make some--even if it's a challenge.

How a writer can live with uncertainty

In the time of the Caronavirus, it has never been more obvious that we crave certainty. 

The uncertainties of the creative life aren't at the level of life and death (except in some totalitarian societies, and we're not there...yet). But anybody who wants to make a living from their writing or other art constantly faces uncertainty, including:

Is this thing I've created any good?

Will anybody want to buy it?

If it's put out there, will people like it?

How long will it be before I have a breakthrough--if ever?

Am I wasting my time?

Even when a writer has a success, the doubts remain:

Will my next work be as good as this one?

Was this a fluke?

LIVING WITH UNCERTAINTY

I don't think we can overcome uncertainty, and maybe it's not even a good goal to have. We've all encountered people who are convinced that everything they produce is great and that they are god's gift to humankind. That kind of overconfidence can succeed for a while but usually leads to a downfall eventually.

Perhaps the most appropriate goal is to learn to live with uncertainty. Here are a few things I've found useful:

• Remember that you are not defined by the success or failure of any given project--or even of your entire career. As a writer, you are more than any given project, and as a human you are more than a writer.
  
  
• The value of things is not always clear in the moment. Years ago, my house in the Hollywood hills burned down to the ground. At the time, it seemed like a tragedy. While I still don't think it was a great thing, it did make me consider whether I just wanted to rebuild the house--and my life--in the same form, or use this as an opportunity to make changes. I moved to London, where I met my life partner and have enjoyed my life more than I had in Los Angeles.
  
  
• If you enjoy the process, the outcome has less control over you. I know there are writers who claim they don't enjoy writing. I do, and I think if I didn't, I'd stop doing it. Of course, sometimes it's frustrating and the finished work never totally lives up to my fantasy of it, but the enjoyment outweighs the frustrations by a long way. If you're not enjoying writing, ask yourself why. Is there a different type of writing you could be doing? 
  
  
• If you enjoy writing but worry that you may be wasting your time, what would you be doing with that time if you weren't writing? If you'd be curing cancer by all means switch. But if you'd be watching more TV or doing more crossword puzzles, why not keep writing?
  
  
• It can help to hang out--in person or virtually--with people who are in the same boat. Look for people who are constructive and supportive and avoid the bitter ones who just want someone to listen to their complaints. 

If you have other strategies, let me hear about them in the comments or at [email protected]. When a few have accumulated I'll share them in another post.

It's not about the setback, it's about the (writing) comeback

"It's not about the setback, it's about the comeback" is a phrase I saw the other day and it really stood out to me.

Some people have used this weird time to double down on their writing, but many others have found even if they had more time it has been really hard to focus. That can easily spiral down into a long-term abandonment of your writing.

If you've had a writing setback, let's start thinking about your comeback.

Sometimes comebacks take the form of a splash of glory: a dramatic event that shows you're back. In writing terms, this could be putting aside a full weekend for nothing but re-starting your writing. Turn off your internet access, warn your significant others that you're going to be busy and not to be interrupted unless bleeding is involved. Turn off your inner critic, too. This session is about cranking out a lot of words. You'll be rewriting some of them later but, for now, just get the flow going again.

Other comebacks take the form of small steps. Fifteen minutes a day, maybe thirty. In this form, consistency is the key. Make a commitment to yourself and maybe to others that you're going to write for at least fifteen minutes per day for the next thirty days. On days when it's flowing and you have time, keep writing. On days it's not flowing, write something anyway. You can always throw it out later. 

With either approach, it won't be long before the comeback overshadows the setback!

ps: If you need some guidance, see my book, Your Writing Coach, available from Amazon or your other favorite bookseller.

How to surprise yourself

Writer and producer Andrew Yang told Fast Company, "You should be surprising yourself. You should be challenging yourself. Playing within the bounds of what everything you've seen before has done, you can get somewhere with that. But I feel like it's most exciting when you can show people something new and really surprise them."

What stands in the way usually is our inner critic, the voice that says, "Isn't that too different? If that would work, wouldn't somebody else have done it already?"

I think the best strategy for overcoming that is to tell yourself, "Let's play with this for a while and see what happens." Winning over your inner critic is challenging, but getting it to reserve judgment for a while is easier.

Years ago I decided I wanted to start a newsletter. It wasn't long before I found myself thinking, "Will people really be interested?"  and "Won't it take too much time?" and "How would I distribute it?"

I managed to fend off my inner critic enough to play around with the format and content and put together a rough version.

I found that I enjoyed the process and that the material could be useful to aspiring screenwriters like me.

That gave me the momentum and confidence to keep going. I went ahead and published the newsletter and a mention in the Los Angeles Times helped launch it. After a few years, when scriptwriting was keeping me busy, I sold the newsletter on to a friend who ran it for several years and then sold it on to someone else.

What ideas do you have that your inner critic has been blocking? Make a deal to play around with the idea for a while.

You may surprise yourself.

 

A time to rethink?

Most of us can identify one or more turning points when we redefined who we are or at least who we want to be.

I think we get one free shot at this in our early 20's.

After that, it usually happens when we are confronted with some kind of crisis. 

One of mine was when my house in LA burned to the ground and shortly thereafter I ended up in the hospital with a blood clot in my leg that could have traveled and killed me. I decided to leave behind a reasonably successful career in LA and move to London.

More recently, it was when I had open-heart surgery. That rethink wasn't as dramatic, it was more of a mindset switch to being less hard on myself. 

What these have in common is that the usual situation stopped and the future was uncertain. That pretty well describes where we all are right now. Maybe that makes it a good time to take another look at where we are and where we want to be, and what we can do to bring ourselves closer to the latter.

I'm not clear yet what that means for me.  Maybe for you it means you'll finally write that book or screenplay you've been intending to write or take a course to gain a new skill, or find another creative outlet. 

It does seem that this is another time when a crisis also is an opportunity.

As Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote in Love in the Time of Cholera, "He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.” 

 

Is this the time to (finally) be you?

There's a Zen saying, "Out of the mud grows a lotus."

As I write this, we're in the mud. The coronavirus is still spreading and millions (including me) have been instructed not to leave our homes for at least twelve weeks (eleven to go). Loved ones are dying, the future is uncertain, and some of the people in charge are cretins.

That's the mud.

What will bring out the lotus?

For some people, it's suddenly finding they have more free time (if that's not you, keep reading anyway, we'll get to you). 

How will you spend this time?

The internet is full of suggestions for how to spend your extra time, many of which strike me as time killers.

If anything, the current state of affairs is telling us we never know how much time we have, so killing more of it seems foolish.

As Shakespeare said--or warned--in Richard II, "I wasted time, and now doth time waste me."

Why not make your goal creating something only you can create?

Not because you're a genius but because you're you.

The obvious channels of expression, like books, scripts, stories, poems, drawings, paintings, sculptures, etc. are fine if they excite you.

It could just as easily be making a piece of furniture, creating an indoor garden, coming up with original recipes, or using Zoom or Skype to give solace to isolated friends or strangers.

It could be something I've never heard of and can't even imagine.

Finding it is your job.

How to find it

It's possible you've already found it, but you never followed through because you didn't have time.  Maybe you started and you meant to go on, but life and obligations interfered and you stopped. It may be represented by a half-finished novel or a piece of pottery gathering dust, or the intention to connect with friends from years ago.

If you don't know what it is, or you do and you want to recapture the magic feeling it once gave you, use some of your new free time to daydream.

Yes, this was easier when we had the option of strolling through a park or walking along a beach, but you can also do it after everybody else has gone to bed, or before they wake up.

Go to the free site, calmsound.com and listen to gentle rain, or a country garden, or the ocean. If you're inspired by seeing nature as well as hearing it, they also feature videos of the Maldives, a country glen, an enchanted forest, and an Australian beach.

Close your eyes, remember what you dreamed of doing when you were a kid, or what made you happy before you had to stop doing it because responsibilities intervened. 

You'll know it when you see it--or rather, when you feel it. It'll feel like how artist Milton Glaser felt about illustrating Dante's Purgatory: "I can't tell you how much I looked forward to working on it--it is still thrilling to me to be able to sit down in front of a piece of paper and invent the world."

How to do it

You've found it. Now what?

Is there a secret? Something they don't want you to know but that I will reveal to you if you send me lots of money?

No, nobody's trying to keep it from you and there's no charge. It's simple. Not always easy, but simple: 

1. Start
2. Continue
3. Fail (because we can imagine perfection but not attain it)
4. Learn from the failure
5. Continue
6. repeat 3 through 5

Number one is the hardest but the other steps have their drawbacks, too.

So why do it?

Because it means something to you.

Because in some way large or small, you'll be contributing something to the world that is part of you.

It could bring you world-wide fame and fortune, or you may invent something that will benefit millions--but probably not. 

Maybe it'll be a memoir you self-publish that's discovered by a curious great-grandchild years after you're gone, and suddenly a little bit of you will live again.

Maybe it'll be a window garden that someone walking by sees and is reminded that life will blossom again. 

Maybe it'll be a poem nobody ever reads, but having written it makes you feel more complete and that, in turn, makes you a less distracted or frustrated parent.

But what if you don't have more time?

Some people actually have less time these days. They may be working from home and homeschooling their kids. They may have more responsibility for their parents or grandparents. What should you do if that's you?

Exactly the same thing. 

Homeschooling your kids? What greater lesson can you teach them (by example) than to express themselves? Don't expect them to appreciate it now, of course, but the time will come.

Working from home and too busy with work? An article in the Guardian about a palliative nurse who counsels the dying revealed the top regrets her patients expressed :

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn't worked so hard. (This from every male patient she dealt with.)

I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish I had let myself be happier.

Every one of those, in one way or another, is about being yourself, expressing yourself.

You do have the time.

Cut out 30 minutes of TV or browsing the internet.

Get your kids involved in your creative activity.

Declare a lunch hour and lock yourself in a room, put in earplugs or crank up the white noise machine and do whatever you're meant to do. 

It's not too late

Whether life gives us another week, another year, another decade or more, it's not too late to take that first step.

As Oscar Wilde said (or should have, in case he didn't): "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken."

I hope that when you look back on these dark days you'll remember it was also the time you decided or renewed your decision to be--and share--yourself.